


I Hate You, I Love You

by pure_vibranium_heart (orphan_account)



Series: Baby it's You and Me against the World [3]
Category: American Actor RPF, Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sebastian Stan Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anthony Mackie is a witty idiot, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Celebrity Crush, Celebrity Reader, Chris Evans is a good bro, Ex Boyfriend Sebastian Stan, F/M, Hollywood, I'm terrible at tagging, Imagines, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kissing, Language, Oral Sex, Sebastian Stan - Freeform, Sebastian Stan Imagine, Sebastian Stan is a sad little puppy, Smut, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Wall Sex, You are a beautiful human being, a few tears, a little bit sad, but things work out well, but you're also a little sad as well, marvel imagines, really well actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 21:11:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7404949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/pure_vibranium_heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were sure that if you and he were the last people on earth and you were on fire, you would rather burn than let him extinguish the flames. A hatred for him took deep roots in your heart and weeds grew through the holes he had left behind. It was a very rough break up. The type that Hollywood wants to wring like a blood-soaked towel until it was dry and flaky. </p><p>And now, you had to star in a film with him. </p><p>Great. </p><p>Or: That time you had to star in a film with your Ex Sebastian Stan and some feelings are revealed in the process</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate You, I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Tumblr, I decided to post this on AO3 as apart of my reader insert series: Baby It's You and Me against the World. 
> 
> You can find the link here: 
> 
> This is also unbeta'd, sorry babes.

It had been a wonderful day. Exciting, actually. The sun was a shining beacon in a cloud-dotted sky, pouring down golden happiness onto the bustling city of Los Angeles. You had just heard from your agent that you had been nominated for a prestigious award for your supporting role in a killer thriller film. And your manager had just informed you that you had landed a significant role in an upcoming action film blockbuster, one that she had left nameless as a ‘surprise.’

Yes, this had been a wonderful day. _Had been_.

“What the FUCK?!” You yelled with enough force to shatter an entire building, “What the FUCKING FUCK!?”

Elle, your manager of 8 years, took a deep breath in as though she was mustering enough courage to repeat what she had just said. “(Y/N)-“

“No,” You were pacing back and forth, leaving a trail of steam behind you as the anger radiated off your form. “I swore to NEVER see that jerk’s face again and now you have me in the SAME GOD DAMN FILM WITH HIM! What the **_FUCK_** Elle!?”

“This could really give your career the boost that it needs!”

“Sorry, I didn’t quite hear you, did you just say that Hollywood’s ‘It’ girl needs a career boost?” You scolded sarcastically, your words still laced with fiery rage.  “I’m not taking the part. They can beg and plead, they could offer me the fucking Holy grail, but I will never…never accept that damn role!”

Elle suddenly fell quiet, her unspoken words dying on her lips. There was evasion swimming in those dark blue orbs, swirling behind her glasses as she looked at the tiled floor of your Beverly Hills mansion. You eyed her suspiciously, watching her through a vision that was seeping with red.  
  
“What did you say…?” You said, slowly, in a voice that fore gleamed the upcoming tantrum threatening to explode.

Elle scratched her head nervously, shifting uncomfortably in the suede couch.

“Imayhavesaidthatyouwouldtaketheroleandtheyarenowexpectingyouintwodays”  Elle mumbled, still not looking into your eyes, hoping that the collision of her sentence would make it difficult for you to translate.

  
But you heard her like a piercing yowl slicing through an empty silence.

Cold tension filled the room like the chilling breath of death as your thoughts tangled in a web of anger and betrayal. Your eyes fixed into a glare, like the pointed edge of a sword, you pinned Elle to the couch. For a long time, you imagined how you would kill Elle with your own two hands and had figured out a plan to dispose her body underneath the patio of your backyard.

 _What the fuck was Elle thinking?_ Without your permission or even telling you in the first place, she had signed you up for a part in the third film of the Captain America trilogy. And That wasn’t the worst of it. The character that Elle had signed you up for was the love interest of Bucky Barnes, the character portrayed by your ex boyfriend – Sebastian Stan. The last man you wanted to see on God’s righteous Earth.

You were sure that if you and he were the last people on earth and you were on fire, you would rather burn than let him extinguish the flames. A hatred for him took deep roots in your heart and weeds grew through the holes he had left behind. It was a very rough break up. The type that Hollywood wants to wring like a blood-soaked towel until it was dry and flaky.

And now, you had to star in a film with him.

_Great._

* * *

 

The first day on set was tense and stressful. Though it had begun with an encouraging speech that sounded like it had just come straight out of Independence Day, the spirit Joe and Anthony had stirred soon fizzled when you made eye contact with your ex. It didn’t take long for the first argument to erupt between you two when the past came to grate against your skin. The summer heat that Atlanta was baking in did not help your mood and by the time the day was over, you had already burst into red-hot flames and stormed off set with a cloud of thick smoke following behind you.

By the end of the first week, everyone was pissed off.

What surprised you about these arguments was that Sebastian didn’t have much to say. He had always been the most patient out of the two of you and always remained calm and collected. But you thought he’d have more to pitch in when your shared bickering turned into you snarling about the entire situation. Whether it was because he was trying to stay professional, or that behind his steel demeanour, he was internally screaming, you still recognised the little signs that crossed his features like the way he set his jaw when you threw a subtle insult at him or the glint of anger in his eyes whenever you criticised him in a grumble.

You were in your caravan when Chris had scraped together enough courage to approach you, not knowing what to expect. It wasn’t that you were a diva or a spoiled brat, it was the pressure of having to work with someone who had hurt you down to your core.

“(Y/N), it’s Chris. Can I come in?” A sweet voice called from behind the door and you sat up, startled, before making your way to the door to pull it open.

“Hi Chris,” You welcomed him in with a smile and a little hug and he settled in the leather couch across from you.

“So today was…”

“-I’m sorry about that…” you interrupted him and your face twisted into a remorseful grimace as you handed him a bottle of beer as though it were a token of your sincerest apologies. “God you must think I’m such a bitch.”

“No, not at all!” Chris quickly interjected, before taking a swig of his beer “No whatever happened between you two is none of my business.” Chris looked at you with gentle, friendly eyes, shimmering in shades of dazzling blue like a diamond-studded ocean. “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“Thank you, Chris.” You smiled weakly before releasing a sigh. “I feel like I’m just making everything difficult for everyone involved in this movie by dragging all this emotional baggage to set.”

You both shared a moment of small laughter that blossomed between you two like old friends before Chris gently shook his head. “Emotional baggage is heavy so don’t be shy if you need someone to help you carry it.”

Chris Evans amazed you. You had only known him for a little over month and yet he cared so deeply for you. It was no wonder that he was so well liked by all his co-stars.

You smiled fondly at him, watching him through a slightly saddened gaze. Then it hit you. No one knew about you and Sebastian’s past relationship. You had been together before the fickle lights of Hollywood swooped in to distract you, and you had both been so young at the time. You kept the relationship and it’s messy break up a secret once fame hit you hard, because there were parts of you that still yearned for him, parts that smouldered beneath the flames of your hostility toward him. So how did Chris know…?

“How did you know about Sebastian and I?” you ask, suddenly curious and uncomfortable at the same time.

Chris stared at you for a while before his arm bent behind his head to swipe his neck in a nervous reflex. “Sebastian…umm…he told me. Not deliberately, we had a few beers and he didn’t say much.” _‘He was drunk and a complete mess because he still loves you’_ was a sentence Chris chose to swallow back, not wanting to make things worse.  
  
You nodded slowly. “Oh,” was all you could formulate. It was all you could think about when you and Chris both said goodnight after a couple of beers shared with Scarlett and Anthony, feeling a little insecure and pissed that someone else knew. It was still playing in your mind when the moon passed over the silky black sky and the dawn came up to swallow the earth.

* * *

 

After a rare day of relaxation, you returned to the near-empty set to rehearse some lines with Chris. You, he, and the rest of the cast (bar Sebastian) had spent the day strolling around Atlanta on your day off, visiting tourist sites and enjoying the humorous company that your cast mates had become. You felt a twinge of regret for forcing Sebastian to cocoon himself, he was certainly missed by Anthony when Sebastian had used the ‘I’m busy trying to prepare myself for tomorrow, but have fun without me’ excuse.

Ambling around the set was like visiting a ghost town and you relished in the lonely atmosphere that it created, so still and silent, nothing but the distant clattering of life outside of the set filling the air.

You were snapped to attention when something stumbled behind you and you spun on your heels to find Sebastian looking flustered and awkward. Your breath coiled in your throat as your chest clamped painfully, and suddenly, your senses were pricked by anger.

“What are you doing?” you asked with a threatening scowl on your face, eyes sharpening into daggers.

“Anthony was supposed to meet me here.” Sebastian grumbled and you suddenly felt betrayed. Those conniving little shits. “What are you doing here?”

“None of your damn business, Sebastian.” You snarl, “Now leave me alone.”

“Okay, well, there’s the exit.” Sebastian pointed toward the exit and you felt hot fumes boil inside of you.

“I was here first!”

“(Y/N), seriously, are you going to play that shit with me? What are you, five?”

“I may be a lot of things, Sebastian, but at least I’m not a disloyal prick.” Your mouth is a revolver and your words bullets, and you were aiming to kill.

The air around Sebastian was sucked into a vacuum, a result of your dig at the past and his jaw clenched, grinding in anger.

“Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s at least try to work together for the others sake.”

You wanted so badly to dent his perfect face with your fist because of how considerate he was being, when years ago, when he had told you you were his everything…

“For the other’s sake? Since when have you thought of anyone but yourself, Sebastian? Hmm?” you raised your eyebrows as your fists curled into balls, your nails digging into your palm.

Sebastian threw his arms up in the air in a fashion that clearly spelt how fed up he was. In a low murmur, he mumbled something in Romanian that made a tendril of heat curl down your spine and smoulder in your groin. _How does he still have that effect on me?_

“Why are you even here then, (Y/N), If I’m really that terrible, why did you come?”

“Because I was forced into the role! My manager signed me up for it and she somehow convinced me that this could work! But it obviously isn’t!” You were yelling now, heat rising from your chest as you spoke. “So I’ll have you know that I will be terminating my contract!”

“Good!” Sebastian spat “Because I was doing fine without you and now I’m nursing a killer hangover because of what your presence does to me.” He snapped, his chest heaving up and down as though there was a prowling lion captured in his chest.

“What _my_ presence does to _you_? You’re the one who left me! You abandoned me, Sebastian, when you told me that we’d be together forever. _You_ left _me_.”

“Oh for fucks sake, (Y/N), I was scared!” He yelled and you fell quiet at the growl in his voice, like distant thunder clashing in angry clouds. “I was scared because you were moving so quickly and I had just come out of a relationship where my girlfriend had cheated on me. So I ran away because I was a coward and I was scared.”

“I never meant to hurt you,” he said, his voice cracking under the weight of his confession. “I never meant to do this.” He pointed between the both of you, addressing the tension that suffocated you.

“Well what did you mean to do, Sebastian? Because you did more than hurt me when you broke up with me through a fucking letter. “ Your eyes pricked with tears but you blinked them back, not wanting to seem ridiculous.

“I know, and I’m sorry (Y/N), fuck I’m so sorry.” He said as he shook his head, taking a step toward you. “I’m so sorry.”

You always imagined how this day would go. In the back of your mind, you thought about each scenario if you happened to meet Sebastian again. You thought that you’d be strong, that you would stand your ground if he confessed his remorse, his guilt, his regret. But this was a failing battle. You couldn’t stay strong anymore.

The dam you were struggling to hold back burst and years of built up pain flowed down your lashes in bitter tears. “You should have just told me, you fucker.” You words were suddenly drowning in sobs and you stepped into him, beating your fists on his chest.

“You fucker!” You were now pounding your fists against his chest and he circled his arms around you, holding you in a hug.

“I know. I know.”

He held you there, your hands pressed against his pecs as you sobbed into his shirt, releasing years of tears that had hid behind your eyes. When you were finished, you looked back up at him through blurry, swollen eyes and found a few tear tracks staining his cheeks as well.

“Fuck you,” You cursed in a croaky voice before he crushed his lips against yours, kissing away your anguish and your pain. Oh, how you missed these lips, these soft and sweet lips. You felt at home.

Kissing Sebastian made every other kiss you had stolen from a revolving door of handsome lovers taste like ash, because his lips moulded perfectly to yours from the many nights of practice that you both had shared. You could taste the salty sweetness of his tears melting onto his lips but you didn’t care, you liked the taste of it on your tongue, you liked the taste of him.

And then his kisses hardened, like a desperate urgency to taste you before the world collapsed inside a black abyss. He held you tight in his firm grasp, like the sturdy foundations of a building. Your arms snaked around his neck to pull him deeper into your lips, because you had secretly spent months trying to wipe away his kisses with alcohol and now they were yours again and you were liberated from the years of loathing, of anger toward him and anger towards yourself.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, passionately making out with Sebastian. But it was a long period of time before he pushed you against the wall with all his manly strength and began to feel you, fingertips scaling your body with delicate intimacy, despite the roughness of his kisses. Your fingers explored too, tangling in his long, soft hair as you kissed him with all the life in your lungs.

It suddenly didn’t matter that you were in public because you needed him, you needed to feel the heat blossom between the both of you, you needed his lips to trail across your body and plant land mines beneath your skin with gentle, moist kisses. You began to toy with the hem of his shirt before pulling it off his torso, exposing his chiseled and toned body. His muscles twitch as your fingers rake down his back, your legs wrapping around his hips to pull him into you. You feel him thick and hard and your groin pulses with desire.

Sebastian strips your shirt off and his lips swoop in to latch onto a nipple, hardening the pink bud instantly. Your back arches off the wall and you moan loudly, raking your fingers through his thick, luscious hair. His other hand kneads your other breast, gently pulling and tugging as his tongue assaults your nipple.

You pull his lips back to your own and devour them viciously while his fingers wander across your body, slipping inside the waistband of your jeans and into your moist and aching pussy.

“I’m so sorry,” he mutters over and over again like a desperate prayer as his digits circle around your clit before they dive inside your folds, rubbing and circling as you mewl into his neck. You whimper when he pulls his fingers from their spot deep inside of you and he unbuttons your jeans, rolling down your panties at the same time. Dropping to his knees, he hooks your knee over his shoulder to give him better access to your throbbing pussy and he curses in Romanian before his mouth seals around your dripping cunt.

You cry out as ecstasy jolts through you like a sharp, electrical shock, except pleasure sizzles in your veins instead of electricity. You can feel your body peaking, ascending higher into the clouds of euphoria and your fingers tug at his dark tresses as his talented tongue suckles your juices. Then, suddenly, you hit your climax and you plummet from cloud nine, falling into your orgasm with intensity that makes you tremble like dancing, autumn leaves. He continues to eat you out, swallowing all you have to offer greedily before your leg uncoils itself from over Sebastian’s shoulder and he rises to his feet, lips swollen and glistening.

When you regain your composure, you pull Sebastian’s lips to yours and kiss him with ferociously, moaning when you taste yourself on his tongue.

“I forgive you,” You breathe onto his lips, “I think I forgave you a long time ago. I just…was more angry at myself than with you.”

You hungrily steal the words from his lips when you kiss him again, swallowing down the sentence he may have said in response. Then you pull away and unbutton his jeans and freeing his ‘soldier’, attentive and awaiting further instruction. You take one look at the large erection before growling with a carnal demand.

“Now take me Sebastian.”

That, he does. But then again, he’s always had you. Even when you cursed him for leaving you, you realised many months ago that it was better to forgive and release the anger than to hold on like a desperate child grasping onto a dying candle. You knew you had to blow out the dancing flame and watch the tendril of grey smoke fade into the breeze like ghosts.

So did Elle. And you couldn’t have thanked her more.

**+1**

  
Chris had never really been late for anything in his life. But something so simple became increasingly difficult and it had delayed him from seeing (Y/N). So, with all the energy he could muster, he half walked, half jogged toward the set, expecting to find her there with a look of impatience storming across her face. Instead, he finds something else entirely.   
It makes him smile.

Sebastian kissing the one that got away. Or the one he left behind. It had haunted him like vengeful demons, silenced only by the alcohol that buzzed in his veins. But now, now he was intoxicated by the taste of her lips. And Chris couldn’t be happier.

Pulling out his phone, he sends a quick text to Elle. He calls up Mackie, wanting to hear his response.

“It worked.” He says with a small smile playing on his lips.

“About damn time.” was Anthony’s response.

_About damn time._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, beautiful human beings. :) Let me know if you have a request, I'll put it on my list <3


End file.
